I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
is it fun? or sober?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
