and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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