Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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