We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
