That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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