It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
