Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Welp...herpes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
