i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
