Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
