Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize