its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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