i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
