brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
