Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize