Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
