A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
