you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
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She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
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Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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