Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize