god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
