We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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