We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
