We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
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