I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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