people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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