Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
