the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
