I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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