She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
