cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
