I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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