Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize