We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
As shirtless as possible
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
