And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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