I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
