I wish life had little blips of pornography
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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