Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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