Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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