DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
