just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
