I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
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you will always have a special place in my vag
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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