IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
