It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
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No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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