with your own penis?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
