your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
