help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize