She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
