I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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