im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
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I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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