I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
