You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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