She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
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I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
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Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm too high and old for this...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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