I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
