you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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