I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
vagina is talking i cant
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
