so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
