I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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