She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.