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• (303): View more from Colorado

  if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...

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• (562): View more from California

  at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.

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• (916): View more from California

  Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (850): View more from Florida

  He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.

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