just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.