yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep